It's Not My Party, But You Can Cry If You Want To...

Blondie's little monster is turning 5. She decided to throw a big party because 5 is a special number. It's a milestone. You know, 5...16...21...that kind of milestone. Either way, it was an absolute necessity to throw a gigantic bash, complete with a ridiculous amount of decorations and crafting, of which she is not capable. <---FUNNY, right?! Anyway, she was in a near panic last night, in the midst of slave labor brought on by Cruela as payment for allowing Blondie to have the party at their house...and so I offered to come early and help her. I figured it was the least I could do, given that I meant to (help?) make this paper wreath-like thing for her this week; and we just couldn't connect on it.

So this morning was a pretty typical morning in which we needed to be out of the house early. Big monster wanted to go "now," at 7:15 am, when she was standing at my bedside asking for cereal, milk, and cartoons. I was trying to pack our bag with diapers, wipes, sippy cups, towels, swimsuits, and other water necessities because they have a pool..."Mommy, but I don't want to go under water!" No problem, Monster. It's not a big deal. Eat your cereal, please. "Mommy, can I have your bagel please?" Sure, what would you like on it? "Butter." Fine. So I grab my coffee, butter "my" bagel and continue on with the packing. I got the bag packed, and Little monster finally woke up...Change/milk/dress <---that part was funny, being that she kept saying, "No!" and running off, thinking I was playing a silly game with her.

Finally, everyone was dressed and ready to get out the door...Both girls had only one shoe. Typical. We were running behind ("Are we late, Mommy?" Yes,  Monster), and neither of my monsters could find mated shoes. I told them that I was going out to the car to check if their missing shoes were in there, and they of course, insisted on following me out the door. The missing shoes weren't in the car, of course. So I had to sprint inside and find the missing shoes STAT...with 2 unsupervised monsters in my truck. At least the keys weren't in it? Thankfully, I had just cleaned their rooms the day prior, and so I knew they weren't in either bedroom. The only room that hadn't seen a vacuum (or a dust rag, or practically any cleaning product in who knows how long) was the master bedroom. I quickly found them (luck, I imagine) just under the bed and dashed back outside.

I got half a mile down the road and realized I forgot to pack a swimsuit for Little Monster...and my gas light was on. Did I mention I was already running 10 minutes behind at this point? I decided to screw the swimsuit (Gawd, I am SUCH a whore) and kept driving. I got gas, stopped for donuts (sustenance for anxious mamas), and Blondie's fave bev from Starbucks (Venti White Chocolate Mocha). I figured it might be drinkable by the time I drove down to Cruela's place if I got it right by mine. Of course, everyone and their neighbor was in the drive-thru at SBucks, and they clearly weren't aware that the world revolves around me and that I was already running late (Note to self: purchase "Narcissist" shirts to wear daily). Traffic was light, though, and we had an easy drive there.

Blondie looked like the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders as I strode up the walkway with donuts in one hand and Starbucks in the other. I was glad. I enjoy being helpful <shocker>. We worked together to get everything decorated and set up, and it was great...except that my monsters were running around without much supervision...aaaand Little Monster decided to take one of Cruela's collectible dog figurines for a swim...in the toilet. I really wish ya'll had any clue as to this woman's demeanor. She scares the living crap out of me, and I think she's only ever said about 10 words to me. Blondie came over to tell me about the incident, and I couldn't help but nearly have a spit take and laugh hysterically. I always say that Little Monster's only saving grace is her cuteness. She's a terrorist, but she's damn cute.

Other than that, Blondie was incredibly grateful and relieved that help had arrived. She had another friend who did tricks with balloons that I didn't even know were possible, though. I'm definitely jealous of that, and I need to learn her secrets. I thought I was pretty damn good at decorating, but this chick tied 4 balloons together without any kind of string. AMAZING. I digress. It was a great party, minus the toilet incident, the rain, and Cruela's less-than-welcoming attitude.

I'll never forget this just because I thought it was the sweetest and most adorable thing ever, but Blondie's dad made some hot dogs in the microwave for the little ones who wouldn't eat the hot dogs with the grill markings on them...He said he should have known to do it earlier since Blondie would never eat them that way either. Is that not adorable?!

Anyway, we had a great time, and I'm so thankful to have such sweet friends...And I can't wait until I have a party...hehehe

Here's to the party animals!