Your Best Cheese Balls

So Thanksgiving is either a love it or hate it kinda day in my life. And I'm sure it's the same for a lot of people, right? I mean, family dynamics can be incredibly challenging, and mix that with 17 cooks in the same kitchen, and it's kinda a recipe for disaster. Since having children, our Thanksgivings have been all over the board from amazing to not so memorable. Yesterday took the cake for most amazing Thanksgiving ever. 

We spent the day with some of our best friends in the entire world with a beautiful view of Buck Island, laughing, singing, cooking, drinking, and just being overall merry. By the time we sat down to dinner, we had a total of 5 dogs, 4 children, and 6 adults in attendance. The munchkins said these really odd "prayers" before eating, which Zen captured on video (yay!). One of our friends made the turkey and gravy; Zen was responsible for mashed potatoes, stuffing, and corn. J made an appetizer that was pretty bangin', and I did the green bean casserole, desserts, mulled cider, and apps for snacking while we were waiting for dinner. 

I was actually pretty impressed with myself. I am not sure why, but it's always surprising when I make a stellar dish. Most especially, though, I was proud that I was able to bake desserts. Baking has always been a challenge for me, so the idea that I'm getting the hang of it is really exciting. 

Anyway, this entry is all about cheese. One of my very favorite things to make for a party is a cheese ball. Why? Well, because it's incredibly simple, and it's just about guaranteed to get you a million compliments. I did 3 flavors for Thanksgiving yesterday: Bacon Ranch, Greek, and Taco. So, I'll go through each one and then at the end let you know a very basic equation for making ANY cheese ball you could ever dream up :)

Bacon Ranch Cheese Ball

What You Need:

2 cups Monterrey Jack cheese, shredded

1 brick cream cheese (8 oz)

1/4 c bacon bits

1 packet dry ranch dressing

1/2 c French's fried onions, crushed

What You Do:

*Toss everything except the fried onions in a bowl

*Mix with your hands until all the ingredients are combined evenly

*Roll into a ball shape

*In a ziplock bag, pound out the onions until they are crushed to the texture you like. Then pour it out on a piece of wax paper

*Roll the cheese ball in the onions until evenly coated

*Stick it in the fridge for a couple hours to set up

*Serve with your favorite crackers

Greek Cheese Ball

What You Need:

2 c crumbled feta cheese

1 brick cream cheese (8 oz)

1/4 c roasted red pepper, diced

1/4 c cucumber, diced

1/4 c kalamata olives, diced

1/2 tsp dill

1/2 c pita chips, crushed

What You Do:

*In a bowl, mix the cheeses by hand together until evenly combined

*Add peppers, cucumber, and olives, mix until evenly combined

*Sprinkle in dill and mix until evenly combined

*Roll into a ball shape

*In a ziplock bag, pound pita chips until crushed to desired texture

*Pour crushed pita chips onto a piece of wax paper

*Roll cheese ball in pita chips until evenly coated

*Pop it in the fridge to set up for a couple hours

*Serve with pita chips, pita bread, and/or your favorite crackers...or on cucumbers!

Taco Cheese Ball

What You Need:

2 c shredded cheddar cheese

1 brick cream cheese (8 oz)

1/4 c black olives, chopped

1/4 c green onion or chives

1 Tbs taco seasoning

1/2 tsp smoked paprika 

1/2 c tortilla chips, crushed

What You Do:

*In a mixing bowl, combine cheeses. It's just easiest to do this by hand

*Add olives and green onion and mix until evenly dispersed

*Add seasonings and mix until even

*Shape into a ball

*In a ziplock bag, pound out tortilla chips to desired consistency. Pour onto a sheet of wax paper

*Roll cheese ball in crushed chips until evenly coated

*Put in fridge for a couple hours to set

 *Serve with tortilla chips or your favorite crackers!

So there you have it! Those are 3 different flavors of cheese balls you can make for your next gathering that are sure to impress. The very basic thing about any cheese ball is combining a brick of cream cheese with another shredded (or crumbled) cheese. So the ratio is 1 brick of cream cheese to 2 cups of shredded cheese. Roll into a ball, and then you can choose your coating. I am not a big fan of using nuts to coat my cheese balls, but of course you can do whatever you want! 

As a final note, here are some links to the desserts I did yesterday, as they turned out SO well that it would be a shame not to share them with you! 

*Gingerbread Cookies*

*Urban Legend Chocolate Chip Cookies*

*Pumpkin Cream Cheese Dump-cake*

From my home to yours, Happy Holidays!

xoxo

-Xile

Messy Monday?

So today was definitely not the most productive day I've ever had. I had every intention of making the munchkins breakfast, doing some homeschool work, and then running to the post office to pick up the 6 pounds of chocolate that I had ordered in order to continue our new tradition of "Messy Monday."

The day started off great with my little princess' favorite Pumpkin Pancakes, for which I shall owe you all a recipe. They were gobbled up quickly, and everyone was cooperating for what was sure to be a productive day. As the island would have it, that just didn't happen. King had some side work scheduled, and I thought I would be "the good wife" and go and pick up the parts for that project since he was working on another side project this morning. I mean, how hard is it to run to a parts store, get some car parts, stop by the post office, drop the parts off to King, and then go home and finish my day with the girls? DARE I ask.

Everything was good and well until we were leaving the post office. I thought my car was making an odd noise and didn't feel quite right, but I mean it's an island car...so it's not like I'm driving a Mercedes or something. Anyway, I asked the girls for a "quiet ride," and thankfully they obliged...except that I noticed that the car felt like there was something terribly wrong, and there was no safe place for me to pull off of the road because the bush is so overgrown thanks to all of the November rain. Well, I slowed to a complete crawl, and the nearest safe place to pull over was the most expensive resort on island...with an award-winning golf course, a full service spa, 3 beaches...you get the idea. I made it as far as their first parking lot next to the golf course before I stopped the car and went into full-blown panic attack.

I had 14% battery charge (after leaving the house with over 80% just a couple hours prior) when I called King to let him know that I was totally panicking. Thankfully he was able to get on the road right away to meet us. Double thanks that he just happens to be a mechanic with all of his tools in his truck. So he arrived rather quickly and was able to put the spare on...which just happened to have a bent rim and no air...well, more air than the flat tire but not enough to drive on. Enter: Fix-a-Flat, an island staple. Honestly, if you live on an island, just have at least one can in your vehicle.

So while he's working on getting my car somewhat driveable, of course both munchkins have to use the restroom. There is no restroom anywhere near this parking lot. What IS near the parking lot is an award-winning golf course, a bunch of trees, and a lot of iguanas. So, I am now even more thankful that I had a friend in Indianapolis who taught me how to hold my kids while they pee so that they don't pee on themselves...well, or me. And yes, my girls peed in the bush of a 5 star resort with an award-winning golf course just to our left.

Needless to say, the day wasn't all that productive in the way of schoolwork, but I suppose it was definitely "messy." More importantly, I did get to focus on what this week is all about: Thanksgiving. While the Universe most definitely challenged me today, I am happy that I was able to find the blessings, laugh, and let go of the anxiety and frustration. I am incredibly proud that my girls were completely calm, well behaved, and just rolled with the day, even with the challenges presented.

And honestly, who can complain when I was sitting at a gas station in the Caribbean, drinking a beer while King repaired my tire? As a good friend of ours says, "it doesn't suck."

Are You Kidding Me?! Bangin' Barbecue Chicken Chili

We are approaching major desperation at this point. This is Day 5 of Stateside sickness trampling our house and wrecking our week...ie. I haven't been to the beach in an obscene amount of time for living on an island; nearly 2 weeks. Feel sorry for me. Really, I know it's probably 21 below zero where you are reading this, winter storm Bozeman is kicking your ass, and there is no amount of coffee in the world that will keep you warm. For that I'm sorry, but just remember that our little island is always here for you whenever you may need it. :)

Tonight's post is about chili though, so that should help warm your toesies and your bellies at least. From my girls, they have commented, "Are you kidding me?! It's delicious!!" And "Mommy, you are the best chef ever." If it gets my children's approval, it's a winner in this house.

The secret to chili I think is not to have too much of a recipe, as chili is a lot about using what you have and improvising where you need. I didn't buy enough ground beef this last grocery round, so I thought I'd attempt a chicken chili. I hadn't made one since King's work chili cook-off a few years ago, where they disqualified me because he didn't make it. Basically, it was a bunch of dudes and me...and they refused to let a woman win, even though it was obvious that mine was the tastiest ;) SO, my point here is to use what you have, add what flavors suit your household, and maybe just use this recipe as a guideline rather than a Bible.

Here we go!

What You Need:

5-6 quart crock pot
1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts (it took me 2)
1/2 c your favorite BBQ sauce
2 14.5 oz cans diced chili tomatoes
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
2 cans chili beans w/sauce (I used mild)
1 can corn, drained
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 onion, diced
1 head garlic, minced
chili powder to taste
cumin to taste
Optional: sour cream, shredded cheddar, & chives for garnish

What You Do:

*Slow cook your chicken on low. Put it in the crock and pour your barbecue sauce on top. Walk away. For like 4 hours...Do some laundry or crack open a bottle of bubbly. Celebrate because crock pot cooking is an AMAZING gift to moms everywhere!
*Once the chicken is cooked through, take it out and shred it, toss it back in the crock and make sure it's all coated in barbecue sauce.
*Dump in the rest of your ingredients. Walk away again for another 4+ hours, vacuum, clean a dish...clean up a mess or 17. THE END!!!! Okay, so I mixed it every so often and taste tested a few times to make sure that I didn't under or over spice it.

Apart from that, this is exactly why I adore my crock pot. It should really be called the crack pot in our house, although that may have some connotations that are all-too-inappropriate for a mother of 2...or anyone, for that matter. Anyway, you get the point. I try to cook in my crock as often as humanly possible for a couple of reasons: 1. It's super easy and low maintenance. 2. It doesn't heat up my kitchen like the oven/stove. That's important when you live in the Caribbean.

Finally, I served it with these cornbread muffins, which I will be making once a week I think. Skip the Jiffy. Seriously, it's probably loaded with all kinds of crap chemicals and preservatives, and these muffins were lovely and didn't have that weird aftertaste. And for someone who is barely capable of baking, it wasn't all that difficult. I did follow some of the suggestions from the reviews and made sure to really cream the butter/sugar and also let the milk/cornmeal sit for several minutes before mixing it together with the other ingredients. AND I used canned corn. It's better.

Bon appetit, friends!

Honey Soy Ginger Shrimp Star-Fry

In our house, each time we make a grocery trip, I let everyone choose their favorite meal to be made. Princess' favorite is "shrimp star fry." That's shrimp STIR fry for those who don't understand kidspeak. Regardless, it is always the most expensive, but the most delectable meal of the grocery round. AND I've never actually written down any sort of recipe for it. So again, the girls are challenging me to put some ingredients and measurements down so that they (and YOU) can replicate it down the road.

A note about stir fry is that you don't necessarily HAVE to use the same veggies that I use this time, as most of the time my veggies vary. Use seasonal veggies to your advantage, and this way you can make this special treat year-round. In addition to that, this marinade is easily adapted to other meats, so you aren't even confined to shrimp (especially if it's uber expensive). Try chicken or pork instead, or even just use this glaze for salmon or mahi. I like things to be versatile because I never know what I'm going to be missing in my kitchen that particular day ;)

What You Need:

Honey Soy Ginger Marinade
1/2 c soy sauce
1/4 c honey
2 tsp Sriracha
1 tsp sesame oil
1 tsp rice vinegar
1-2 tsp toasted sesame seeds
1/2 tsp ground ginger

Stir Fry
Tempura oil, a splash or 2
2 lbs large raw shrimp, peeled, tail-off
1 large zucchini, sliced into manageable pieces
1 large yellow squash, sliced
8 oz snow peas (pea pods)
2-3 large carrots, sliced
1 medium onion, diced
1/4 head of red cabbage, sliced
1 head garlic, diced or sliced thinly (basically everything I cook has abundant garlic)
1 can water chestnuts, sliced

What You Do:

*Make up your marinade
*Put just enough on the shrimp to evenly coat all of them; put in the fridge for 15-30 minutes. Don't over-marinate the shrimp. 30 minutes is plenty, promise! Set the rest of the marinade in the fridge to use a bit later
*Once you're ready to prepare the main dish, heat your skillet/wok with a splash or 2 of tempura oil. First cook the shrimp and set them aside.
*Add another round of tempura oil, and add your garlic. Next I added carrots since they take the longest and let them cook for a couple minutes. Then add in your squash, zucchini, & onions. Then add in the rest of your marinade. Let that cook down for a few more minutes and then add the water chestnuts and snow peas. Finally, add in the cabbage, as it cooks the quickest. Mix it all around, and you have the prettiest stir-fry you've ever seen!
*Serve it with your favorite rice, topped with the shrimp -or- mix the shrimp back in at the end

Fancy Schmancy Goat Cheese, Spinach, & Porcini Stuffed Chicken

In an effort to give my girls the ability to cook like mommy when they grow up, at their request I have made an extreme effort to blog recipes for as many meals as I can. Tonight's meal they turned up their noses at, but I honestly didn't even care. More for me! They are still sniffly, and this is when I allow them to eat anything that they will actually eat. Tonight they chose pub mix & left-over sweet & sour pork. Cest la vie

Let's get to it, shall we?

What You Need:

Toothpicks (This was the toughest ingredient for me to find here on island)
Cooking spray (I used grapeseed oil in my PC Kitchen Spritzer)
Aluminum foil
Boneless skinless chicken breasts, pounded out with a meat mallet to about 1/4" thick (I had 3 available)
Italian seasoning blend
8-16 oz porcini (baby bella) mushrooms, thinly sliced
Fresh basil
Baby spinach
Goat cheese
Breadcrumbs (I used Italian, but you can also use Panko, whatever you have on hand)
Asparagus, trimmed

What You Do:

*Preheat oven to 350
*Lay out chicken breasts on aluminum foil that has been sprayed with a bit of cooking spray. Layer the mushrooms, then basil to taste (I didn't completely cover the chicken with basil since I used fresh), spinach leaves, and finally goat cheese.
*Fold up tightly and secure with toothpicks. Sprinkle with breadcrumbs and a bit of Italian seasoning
*Bake for about 45 minutes, turning it over about halfway through.

Bonus side dish!
*Arrange asparagus in a 9x13" baking dish and drizzle with olive oil -or- spray with your cooking spray
*Add the rest of your porcini mushrooms on top of the asparagus, and again spray it or drizzle with oil
*Sprinkle with Italian seasoning blend and, if you have it, Parmesan cheese
*Halfway through the chicken baking, toss your asparagus in the oven too. This way, they'll be done at the same time

Make sure to remove the toothpicks before serving ;) And enjoy!

Vegetarian Breakfast Casserole

There's nothing like waking up in the morning, knowing exactly what you're going to make for breakfast, right? This morning I got up early, and I wanted to give King a chance to sleep in since he was up until almost 3 am. My little Monster was up most of the night coughing, and the Princess was pretty sniffly and miserable herself. That said, it was a quiet morning in our house, and I was really excited to try a new recipe that I found on Pinterest for these adorable spinach & cheese egg muffins. Much to my chagrin, I don't have a muffin pan. So that nixed that pretty quickly. I had to laugh at myself because it's so perfectly me not to have something that is a major requirement for a dish that I went to all the trouble of getting all of the ingredients for from the store and even having ZenMother pick up the spinach for me that I couldn't get at the grocery stores I went to the other day. #IslandGirlProblems ...I digress. The point is that I had to adjust my plans, but I still wanted to make something impressive. And so, I give you:

Vegetarian Breakfast Casserole

What You Need:

NOT a muffin pan ;) but instead, a 9x13" baking pan

Cooking spray of your choice

More than likely, a cup of coffee or 2 (Add a little Velvet Cinn if you wanna get wild ;)

1/4 c of butter

1 medium size onion, diced (I used sweet yellow)

16 oz mushrooms, sliced

2-4 potatoes, quartered, then thinly sliced (I used my  PC Simple Slicer set on 2)

12 large eggs

1/4 c milk (you can substitute water if you're out of milk, like I usually am)

1-2 c fresh baby spinach, enough to make one layer in the pan

4-8 oz shredded cheddar cheese (or whatever cheese you have is fine)

What You Do:

*Brew your coffee. It's early, and your kids are going to be up any minute, if they aren't already. 

*Turn on a nice wake-up playlist such as Brazilian Radio on Pandora

*Grease your baking dish, and preheat your oven to 350

*Melt the butter in a skillet on high heat; add in your diced onion

*Once the onion begins to look translucent, add in the mushrooms. Turn your heat down to medium. Saute for about 5 minutes until the mushrooms have cooked fully. Then, remove them from the heat.

*While the veggies are being sauteed, arrange your potato slices on the bottom of the greased pan in an even layer

*Mix your eggs & milk (or water) in your favorite fashion. I love my NutriBullet and think EVERYONE should have one. Mixing all of the eggs and milk took me all of 10 seconds. It actually took me longer to crack all of the eggs. 

*Arrange the spinach in a second layer on top of the potatoes

*Pour the egg mixture in next, making sure it's evenly dispersed throughout the pan

*Add the sauteed veggies in next, again making sure it's all evenly dispersed

*Top with the cheese

*Cover with foil, and bake for 30 minutes

*Take it out, remove the foil and bake for about another 20-30 minutes, long enough for the edges to brown and the cheese to get good and melty, maybe even slightly brown

Voila! 

This makes about 12 servings.

As always, let me know if you love it, tweak it, or hate it! 

xoxo

-Xile

Roasted Garlic & Chive Mashed Potatoes

I have been terrified of homemade mashed potatoes for years upon years. Everyone talks about getting the butter/milk ratio just right, gummy and sticky fails, and I am telling you this one worked for me on the first go, screw-ups and all...That has to mean something.

What You Need:

5 lbs of your fave potatoes (I used red)
1/2 c butter (I used salted sweet cream)
1 1/2 c milk (the fattier, the creamier your potatoes will be)
2-4 heads of fresh roasted garlic
Olive oil
1 handful of fresh-cut chives
pepper to taste

What You Do:

*Preheat oven to 400
*Pour a glass of white; I'm thinking like a Sauvignon Blanc or a nice Chardonnay. A bit of inspirational music from Michael Buble could be helpful. Cue: Pandora
*Prepare your garlic: peel off the excess skin on your heads of garlic, and trim off the head about 1/4 inch to expose each clove. Drizzle olive oil over the exposed surface and allow to penetrate the cloves. It will be somewhere in the neighborhood of 1-2 tsp per head. Wrap it together in foil, and bake it for 45-60 minutes on the middle rack. It's going to smell amazeballs. Enjoy it!
*Dice your potatoes, evenly sized, and put them in a big 'ol pan with enough water to cover them. I basically filled my dutch oven pan, and it worked out just fine. Bring them to a boil...Take care of your kids and forget about them until they nearly boil over; check them..Place a wooden spoon across the pan so they don't wreck your glass cook-top, and wait until they are slightly firm but break apart easily (about 20 minutes). Then drain them and pop them in a big mixing bowl.
*Right about now you will begin to remember that you are also roasting garlic. It smells soooo good that it inspires your husband to clean the bathroom. Check on it, but don't get overzealous. The longer it roasts, the better. Just don't let it burn. And that's pretty difficult, even while you're drinking wine. When you feel like it's uber soft and smelly, go ahead and pull it out of the oven.
*In a saucepan, add your milk and butter. Your garlic will have cooled enough by now to add it to the potatoes. I just squeezed it out right into the potatoes, and I might have tasted a bit that was left on my fingers ;)
*When you forget that you were supposed to only allow the butter to just melt, realize that the entire thing is about to boil over, and remove it from the heat. Let it set for a couple minutes while you begin to mash the potatoes just ever so slightly in the big giant bowl. I used my Pampered Chef Mix-N-Chop (AMAZING tool). Once the overly heated butter/milk mixture has cooled, add it to the potatoes slowly and use a hand mixer to blend it all together. Throw in a handful of chives, pepper to taste, and mix just a bit more.

THAT'S IT!!! Super easy mashed potatoes that aren't scary!

Please comment if you make them, how it works for your family and if you have any tweaks to share!

xoxo
-Xile

Pancakes for People Who Don't Like Pancakes: Apple Pecan Pancake Bake

I have been on a mission to make pancakes that *I* like for most of my life. I am just not a fan of them. I feel like they're overrated, having restaurants named after them and such. I mean, I know that waffles have restaurants named after them, too, but seriously...pancakes aren't that amazing...until today, that is. Today, even those of us who don't care for pancakes are going to lose their minds in an orgasmic food coma. Or maybe not, but I can promise that even pancake skeptics will love this recipe that is perfect for fall brunches!

What You Need:

2 cups flour (better for bread is awesome. Don't use whole wheat flour because it's too heavy)
2 Tbs white sugar
2 Tbs brown sugar
2 Tbs baking powder
2 eggs
2 cups milk
1/4 c vegetable oil
2 small or 1 large granny smith apple (don't use a red or golden delicious. You need something a bit tart), sliced thinly
1 c pecans, chopped
An indefinite amount of cinnamon (whatever you are comfortable with, I used close to probably 2 Tbs)
A dash of nutmeg
A dash of ginger

Your favorite syrup
Butter

What You Do:

*Preheat your oven to 350.
*Pour yourself a mimosa, and turn on Pandora ;)
*Mix your dry ingredients together. I put enough cinnamon to change the color of the mix to a beige-y color. It's really impossible to measure, but go with your gut. Then add your wet ingredients and mix until it's nice and smooth.
*Add your apples and pecans and mix a bit more until it's even
*Pour into a greased 9x13" baking pan of your choice.
*Pop it in the oven for about 30 minutes, until you can stick a toothpick/knife in the center and it comes out clean. The edges will start to be a bit brown

Serve topped with a bit of butter and your favorite syrup. I swear, I don't like pancakes, and this stuff is incredible. Let me know how it turns out for you!

-xoxo
Xile

Goddess-Worthy Sweet & Sour Pork Tenderloin

Hi there, it's me! I'm still alive and well out floating in the Caribbean Sea. Okay, well, I mean...I am on an island that is floating. Anyway, I know it's been forever, but that's what you get when it comes to me ;) Today I'm going to make everyone in your house love you by giving you a recipe for amazing sweet & sour pork.

I cannot tell a lie: this recipe is adapted from this one, BUT I made enough changes that I thought it worthy of posting my own. So let's get to it!

This recipe will give you at least 6 servings, depending on how many boys/men you have in your house that like to go back for more. That said, here's what you are going to need:

1.5 lbs of pork tenderloin, trimmed of the fat
An undisclosed and indefinite amount of Simply Asia® Sweet Ginger Garlic Seasoning
⅔c ketchup
⅓c rice vinegar (seasoned or plain, I used plain)
2 cans (20 oz)of pineapple chunks drained, save the juice & make sure it's pineapple juice, NOT heavy or light syrup. ew.
¼c brown sugar (dark or light, whichever you have)
2-4 tsp of Sriracha® I used only 2 because I have young ladies that can't agree on how much spice they prefer
2 tsp soy sauce
A splash of Sesame Tempura oil
2 tbs butter (REAL butter, people, no margarine)
1 bunch of green onions, chopped and separated white part from green
1 head of fresh garlic, sliced paper thin. Alternatively, you can mince it, but I prefer it shaved --don't be lazy and use a jar, please ;)
1 sweet onion, diced
2 green peppers, I like to dice them large
1 red pepper, also diced large
2 cups rice of your choice (We used Jasmine white rice)

Here's what you do:

*Prepare your pork. (HAHAHA, okay I'm immature) Using a meat tenderizer, pound out the meat until it's about 1 inch thick. Coat it with the Asian seasoning on both sides, then slice it up into manageable pieces, maybe about half an inch thick and 1.5-2" in length. Toss it in a bowl in the fridge to marinate for a couple hours. It's not major, but it will definitely add flavor.
*Prepare the initial sauce mix. In a bowl, whisk together the ketchup, rice vinegar, pineapple juice (NOT syrup!) from the canned pineapple, Sriracha, soy sauce, and brown sugar. Pour a splash (just enough to coat) of that into your pork marinade. 
*Now is a good time to start your rice. I like to make mine in the microwave with my super awesome Pampered Chef rice cooker so that it's done before I forget in the midst of making the meal that I forgot to make it. 2 cups of dry rice will give you 4 cups of prepared rice. If you need instructions on how to make rice, please see the package on whatever rice you bought :p
*Have a glass of wine. Turn on your favorite Pandora station and jam out for a minute or 2. Remember that you have to chop all the veggies, jam out some more, and then put everything in the fridge until you're ready to cook the pork and put everything together. Maybe have a second glass of wine, who knows?! 
*Heat your favorite tempura oil in your wok or a very large skillet...like probably 14" or so. Toss some more of that Asian seasoning in with the oil. What can I say, I'm addicted! Once it's nice and hot, stir fry the pork. This will take about 5 minutes probably. Do NOT overcook the pork. It's going to keep cooking a little while later. Take it out and put it aside in a big mixing bowl. Drain whatever grease and oil is in the pan and saute your veggies (sweet onion, green/red peppers) for a couple minutes until they have a bright color. Seriously like 3-4 minutes tops. Toss the veggies in the same bowl with the mostly cooked pork. 
*Brown your butter over medium heat and once it begins to brown...toss in the pineapple. Cook the pineapple over medium/high heat until it's a beautiful golden yellow and more opaque. Add your initial sauce mixture, along with your sliced garlic and the white part of the green onion. Reduce your heat to medium/low and let it simmer until the garlic is translucent. Then add the pork and veggies back to the pan and heat it through.
*Serve it over your rice with a green onion garnish. 

Remember to let me know how your family enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

xoxo
-Xile

West Is Best ...Well, at Least For Today It Was!

I am beginning to notice that what they say is true: positive thought begets positive thought. And positive thoughts in succession beget positive action. And pretty soon, you realize that being positive is so much better than being pissy all the time, regardless of just how much crazy you've been handed in your life. 

That being said, one of my dearest sisters returned to our beautiful island home just 9 days ago...and is leaving again to go back Stateside to take care of some family and business matters that came up less than 24 hours after she landed here. (UGH! WHAT?!) However, we thought we better enjoy our time together since it has been so brief.

In that spirit, and the spirit of new adventures (still occurring even after living here for a year!), we headed to Frederiksted this morning after a "walk" (read: hike) down to the beach near our houses. I had heard of a labyrinth that was way out west, and I thought it would be a great sort of end to her (all-too-brief) trip here and a great springboard for her time back in the States.

As a bonus, the labyrinth is located on the grounds of an old plantation, and the grounds were just unbelievably beautiful!

After exploring the ruins and walking around the plantation, we decided to take a dip at one of everyone's favorite beaches here, Rainbow Beach. It's so beautiful there, and the water was just perfect today! 

After our refreshing swim at Rainbow, we noshed at our very favorite West End spot for lunch: Teres Veho. I can't recommend this place enough times, not just for the amazing eats, but also they have a small SUP (stand up paddle) shop where you can rent paddle boards and other fun water accessories! The view is also amazing, especially on cruise ship days with an unobstructed view of the gigantic ships that visit our piece of paradise :)

Finally, as our grand finale, Tan-Tan requested that we jump off the pier. As I'd not done it before, and it's kind of a rite of passage (and also because of peer pressure), I reluctantly agreed to get crazy and do it! As scary as it was, I did it twice, and it's one of those things that is scary and amazingly FUN at the same time! And I'll definitely do it again...and again...and again!

Where we jumped!

I will most definitely miss our Zen Mother (Maw), but I am incredibly grateful that we were able to spend this very special day together with another one of our beautiful sisters, our hoop queen :-) Love you both very much!

3 Islands, 1 Day: A St. John Adventure

So I have this friend who is definitively spontaneous. She is one of the most incredible human beings I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. We went to breakfast the other day near the seaplane dock in town, and she looks at me and says, "Hey, you wanna go to St. John for the day?" I laughed quickly and then looked at her and realized she was 100% serious. So we walked over there after breakfast, and we realized that we were sorta too late to do it that day since King had to work later in the afternoon...and decided we do it a couple days later instead. 

One thing I love about her is that she just has this zest for life and completely embodies the spirit of "tomorrow is not promised" and "carpe diem". She definitely encourages me to do one thing that scares me every day. Have you heard of that phrase? Well, I really thought I wasn't afraid of much, but this adventure was definitely within that realm. I mean, it's not like we went skydiving or anything, but since becoming a mother, I've been a lot less likely to take any sort of risks. So yes, I definitely did something a bit scary and went island hopping for the day!

The photo below is not a picture of a toy. It is an actual airplane. That I rode. When we walked out onto the tarmac I was looking at it going, "this is not for real. Is that thing remote controlled? I mean, can you fit actual humans in that thing?" Spunky is a bit of a nervous flier, though, so I pushed all that fear aside and decided it was totally 100% safe. Not only that, it can fit up to 10 actual humans! 

The mandatory pre-take-off airplane selfie. 

Two other people joined us on our flight to St. Thomas (there is no airport on St. John), one of them being Donastorg, who is a gubernatorial candidate for the upcoming election here in the US Virgin Islands. He had brought a super adorable puppy with him, but he wasn't allowed to bring him aboard due to the fact that he was not in a proper carrier. Fortunately, Mr. Donastorg has plenty of associates who were able to make sure that the puppy was in good hands while he traveled.  

 Flying in a turbo prop is a bit different than flying on a commercial jet! It may have been a bit scary, but the views are unmatched! This is the view as we were coming into St. Thomas.

Our pilot from Cape Air was such a sweetheart! He did a great job making sure that we were comfortable and safe, and he didn't bat an eye when we asked for a photo op at the end of our journey! He thought he was going to be flying us back to St. Croix later that day, but unfortunately he was done for the day when we went back.

Being the perfect Gubernatorial Candidate, Mr. Donastorg offered to pose for a photo with us as well. AND when he realized that we were looking to get a gypsy cab into Red Hook to catch the ferry, he offered to give us a ride out to the main road. A classic taxi would have cost us a considerable amount of money, as opposed to the $2 gypsy cab ride. His driver's music choice was a bit...odd (gangster rap?)...but they were both very kind and hospitable and helped get our adventure off to a great start! 

We had to walk a bit to catch a cab, but that just added to the adventure! I really like the idea of the gypsy cabs. They are open air cabs that have plenty of seating for lots of people. They run one main route around the island, and they are really affordable. It's a simple $2 charge per ride! We went all the way from Charlotte Amalie to Red Hook, which would have cost us $30 for a classic cab.  

The ride across St. Thomas definitely affected me in an unexpected way. I was very overwhelmed with how busy it is there. When I say busy, I mean crowded. And when I say crowded, I am not just talking about people. There was only one cruise ship docked that day, but o.m.g. There were just countless amounts of buildings and vehicles and shopping centers and people and noises and restaurants and...just A LOT. I didn't even realize that I had become very anxious until Spunky asked me if I was okay because I had gotten incredibly quiet. I assured her that I was just fine, but I didn't even realize that I was most definitely NOT fine until later. In moving to St. Croix, I have learned to live on island time. Life is slower, it's more relaxed. It's quieter and not nearly as busy as anywhere else on Earth. So that gypsy cab ride across a very bustling island was not my favorite part of our little adventure!

Once we arrived at Red Hook, we were starving. Rather than hurry to catch the next ferry to St. John, we decided to relax (MUCH NEEDED) for a moment, catch our breath, and have breakfast at Molly Malone's. This place was just what we needed. The service was fast, the food was reasonably priced and yummy, and how can you beat BOTTOMLESS bevies for $12?!?! The only thing I could really pout about was that I had 3 Bloody Mary's and a mimosa and didn't feel the least bit tipsy. So let's remember they're bottomless for a reason ;) The drinks were still tasty, though! 

Here we are on the ferry from Red Hook to St. John. The best part about this ferry ride was that it was open air (errr..water?) and so we got SOAKED once the boat picked up to full speed out in the open water.

 Above is where the ferry drops off at St. John in Cruz Bay. It's an amazing view, and it definitely sets the bar pretty high as far as beautiful scenery. Right off the boat, there were open air cabs waiting to take everyone to their beach of choice ---well, unless you want to go to the other side of the island in Coral Bay (which we found out later). We decided to hang out in Cruz Bay for a bit and to poke around at Mongoose Junction to see what all the shops had to offer. I really loved the "tree house" feel of this eclectic little shopping area. There were plenty of shops to explore ranging from budget bargains all the way up to luxury splurges. So it is a great little spot for everyone!

We grabbed a quick bevy (classic rum punch) at Ocean Grill, and I must say that it wasn't my favorite drink on island (small size and had a major bite). They did have a nice selection of different specialty drinks, including rum-tinis, which might have been fun if we had more time to spend there. The atmosphere there was cute, but there wasn't much of a view, being that it is right in the center of the shopping area.

 After our mini shopping excursion, we decided to hop into one of the cabs and check out Cinnamon Bay, where we were thinking we might stay for a girls' trip later this summer. The cab ride is $7/pp if you have more than one person, $6/pp if you are going to Trunk Bay. We had a very charismatic cabby, and I really do think it made a big difference! We couldn't really understand much of what he was saying over the speaker, but he had a wealth of knowledge about the island and gave us a mini-tour while we were en route to Cinnamon Bay. This little ride was one of the best parts about the adventure! The views are incredible, and it's fun to share a ride with random people! It definitely had the feeling of being on a safari ride at an amusement park, but it was MUCH more beautiful than any amusement park I've ever been to!

Cabby view from above Trunk Bay

Cabby view of the beach at Trunk Bay

After a quick recon mission at Cinnamon Bay, we decided that it might not be for us. It's part of the National Park, and Cinnamon Bay is one of the longest stretches of beach on St. John. However, the cabins we were thinking about renting were in quite a state of disrepair (think rat-chewed mattresses and ripped bug screens), and the restaurant was buffet style, open air in the middle of the woods..nowhere near the beach. We are quite spoiled here in St. Croix in that nearly (if not) all of the resort restaurants are located just steps from the beach with sweeping views of the Caribbean Sea.

We then decided to ask our cabby if he might take us down to Concordia in Saltpond Bay, and we were rather disappointed when he told us that it wouldn't be in the cards. "I don't know if I can do that today," he said. It is quite far from where we were, and I suppose he had the potential to make more money by shuffling tourists to and from the ferry dock instead. This goes back to what I mentioned earlier about cabbies offering to take you to your beach of choice (with an asterisk). Coral Bay is on the opposite side of the island, and I am told that it is more eclectic and rural than the Cruz Bay area. 

Since we were rather disappointed at Cinnamon Bay, we decided to head back to Cruz Bay and check out a cute little bar that we saw on the way in: 

The Beach Bar.

The Beach Bar is where we spent the majority of our time, and I'm not even the least bit mad about it. The atmosphere was very relaxed and also very hip at the same time. We noshed on some crab wontons (reminiscent of crab rangoon) and fish tacos while sipping on a frozen bevy (BBC for me, and Lime in da Coconut for Spunky) and enjoying some amazing people watching! The food was really good, and the drinks were great as well. The staff was super friendly, and they didn't hesitate in offering us some insider tips for our upcoming girls' trip. They have a cute little surf shop that is attached to the restaurant with super friendly staff there as well.

 The people watching was definitely my favorite thing about The Beach Bar, though, next to the amazing view of the harbor. There was a fun group of tourists from Texas that had just arrived and were kind enough to take our photo! One of the girls was really adorable and jumped into the water and exclaimed, "What have we been doing with our lives?!" And then she took her swimsuit top off and invited us to join her for a swim. 

Please note: it is not a great idea to swim in an area where lots of boats are anchored. The water is not very clean! We decided not to join her, but we did enjoy watching their group have a great time!

 We decided we should probably venture out and see another place before we had to ferry back to St. Thomas to catch our evening flight, and so we asked one of the guys at the surf shop attached to The Beach Bar where we definitely should not miss going. At his recommendation, we went to Woody's for Happy Hour!

 This place was definitely a must see if you are looking for a great party spot. This year's Virgin Islands Daily News winner of Most Entertaining Bar did not disappoint! The bartenders were gorgeous (girls), the drinks were cheap ($1 beers for happy hour!), and the music (country) was loud! Our pick for favorite drink was the "Stiff Willy," which is a rum concoction of sorts. Yum. And since the theme of the day had been eating (well, and boozing), we couldn't leave without trying a couple appetizers. I had the grilled scallops (AMAZING) and Spunky ordered the poppers: also great, but beware the "molten" cheese, as described by our bartender, Becca. 

By the end of the day, we were both sufficiently exhausted and ready to make our way back to St. Croix. We had so many laughs, so much food, and more drinks than we could count on our fingers. 

I think the funniest (and scariest) part of our trip, though, was our cab ride back to the airport in St. Thomas. We took a traditional cab this time so we could get there more quickly (we took a later ferry from STJ because we were having so much fun at Woody's), and it was not uneventful! Our cabby was quiet, and we were super loud. Well, we're both a bit loud by nature, but our cabby kept turning up the radio. I'm not even sure if Spunky noticed it, but I got a good chuckle out of that. So, we got to a stoplight about maybe 10 minutes or less from the airport when I saw smoke coming from what could be the hood of our cab. I asked, "Umm, that smoke isn't coming from OUR car, right?!" He assured me that it was coming from the big truck that we were next to while at the stoplight. Well, a couple of lights later he laughed and said, "ooohhh, that is my car!" OMG. I about lost it, and Spunky was laughing. I was just wringing my hands and shaking my leg...PLEASE let us make it to the airport alive...and ON TIME!!! I can't tell you what the hell was wrong with dude's cab, but I can tell you that we made it to the airport safely and with plenty of time to catch our flight back home. 

We had such a fabulous time together, and I can't wait for our next adventure!

Why Do Fools (Codependents) Love Their (Narcissist) Moms?

I'm so thankful for Google, I swear. I think I'm almost as thankful for Google as I am that I ever called McHottie's office number.

So, this crazy thing happened (Shocking, I know). Okay, bear with me here while I give you a pretty substantial amount of backstory, seeing as how I haven't written in awhile again.

Mamabear moved to our peaceful little island in December. Okay, well, maybe not entirely peaceful -but way less turbulent than our lives were Stateside. Anyway, we knew it was going to be...stressful, living with Mamabear. However, she really wanted to move right away (read: jump ship), and so we welcomed her with open arms. Well, I mean, we were hopeful that she would hold true to her word that she was uber-missing her grandbabies, and she wanted to help King and I reconnect (we had quite a bit of trauma involving Aunt Trip last summer).

From a couple of days in, we knew it wasn't going to be like...you know, a picnic on the beach or anything. However, I had hoped that gentle coaching (as opposed to my usual bluntness) would help her see that her Stateside behavior/habits just weren't going to be acceptable here. The high level of expectations (What's for dinner? What are the plans today? Are there any clean towels? I'm really going to need help acquiring transportation aside from this short term rental... It's absolutely mandatory that I shop on Christmas Eve!), the overuse of limited resources (ie. water & electricity), among other things were just the beginning of the challenges. After several attempts at 'big talks,' in which I attempted to impress upon her that she was being rather selfish & unrealistic (without damaging her fragile ego), I gave up entirely. I felt that I was wasting time and precious oxygen, and I really thought (foolishly) that I could just let it go. Really though, I wasn't letting go of anything. I was letting everything fester.

A few days prior to my "ah-ha moment" (which I am leading up to), I had asked her to watch the girls for a bit (an hour, to be exact) so that I might go down the road to enjoy a cocktail and catch up with some friends. I came home around 7:30pm to find my youngest asleep, my eldest awake (thankfully, quietly watching Netflix) and Mamabear passed out in my bed -mouth open and snoring. A few seconds later (maybe 30?) she said, "Boo!" and tried to pass it off as though she was only pretending to sleep. I didn't even acknowledge it. I said nothing, but I was determined not to leave them with her again. This was at least the 3rd time I had come home to her not taking care of my children in some form or fashion.

Fast forward to what started out as a most promising, beautiful Sunday on the beach, complete with good friends, food, and drinks (yes, the adult variety). We had been having such a great time that King decided he would take the Jeep back to Mamabear at work (it was time for him to go in, and she had finished up). She could then bring the Jeep back to the beach and join us (We had been sharing a vehicle since she moved down).

Something set me off. I am not exactly sure what, as my memory from the time she arrived at the beach until much later that night has failed me. From the accounts of my friends who were there, she was "stewing" while sitting on the beach watching the rest of us have a good time in the water. I then became belligerent, and it was time to go. I didn't want to go home, but my friends advised me that it was not a good idea to leave the girls alone with her again, though that would have given me the time I needed to cool down. That left me in quite the predicament, right? Go home knowing I'm unbelievably angry and likely face confrontation...or leave my girls with someone who provides about as much care for them as my animals could. I rode back home with my friends, while the girls rode back with Mamabear.

When we arrived home, I remember repeatedly telling her she needed to get out of my house. I also remember her repeatedly denying my requests. I have also been recounted this story by my friend (we'll call her Jane) who was present. Jane decided to get the girls showered, and in that time frame, I ended up on my back with Mamabear on top of me, repeatedly bashing my head into the tile floor and striking me in the face. I don't remember most of it...I do remember crying for Jane...I am eternally grateful that she was there. If not for her, I'm not sure I'd even be writing this entry right now (or ever). In the end, I looked like I have been feeling all these years -a human punching bag. Jane believes that I must have lost consciousness at some point. I couldn't say honestly whether I did or did not. All I know is that no one deserves to be treated in such a way, no matter how 'drunk' or 'unreasonable' she may be.

I spent several days in my house due to unrelenting migraines and swelling and bruising that could never have been covered with any amount of makeup. Truthfully, I should have gone to the hospital. She went to work the next day (after having been nearly forcibly removed from our home by King) with a few scratches and a bruise on her arm and made sure that everyone she encountered knew that it was because of my belligerence and unprovoked attack on her. She told people that she suspected that I had been using illegal drugs (she even accused me directly of this). She told others that I am an alcoholic and also that I shouldn't be drinking in combination with my (imaginary) anti-depressants. She then (of course) vehemently denies saying any of it and has blamed "the unreliable coconut telegraph" for the exaggerated misinformation.

It must be noted that I do not believe I am without fault here. I know that I acted completely irrationally and out of turn. I know that I completely lost control of my anger and acted inappropriately. I am quite sure there was a better time and place to handle my issues, and obviously there must be a better way to communicate apart from a violent confrontation. However, I did not use any illegal substances, nor did I misuse any prescription medications, as I am not currently prescribed any. I am absolutely at fault for my actions and sorry for the way I behaved.

It must also be noted that she has apologized for hurting me, but that apology is not without an asterisk. She has pleaded with me to understand that she would not have hurt me so badly had she not been provoked by me and had I not 'attacked' her 'out of nowhere'. So while she is sorry, I am still at fault for her inappropriate display of anger toward me. She also wholeheartedly denies that I had a concussion and insists that my memory loss is due 100% to my level of intoxication. Along with that, she does not believe she has gossiped to anyone about the incident.

Whatever the case, no one deserves what happened to me -no one. And there is absolutely no justification for this woman's actions...unless she's a Narcissist.

This brings me to Google. I didn't even use the word. I asked the question, "why does my mother lie to me?" Once I got past all of the "Santa Claus" nonsense, I came across the very accusatory term: Narcissist. I didn't think it was possible because of how 'fragile' and 'sensitive' she is. I swear it never even crossed my mind, but it's the only thing that makes any sense.

I read the first article, and it was like someone finally turned the lights on in my head. Nearly every single point was describing my mother and my childhood. And I have been the perfect codependent child. It's quite disturbing, really. However, at the same time as being entirely disturbing, it was nice for things to begin to add up properly. I just kept shaking my head and laughing hysterically at myself, as article after article kept pointing to the same thing...My mother is a narcissist. 

I even went back and read some of my earlier blog entries and realized that I have been protecting her this entire time, making sure not to damage her fragile and sensitive ego. Meanwhile, she has played me for a fool...a pawn on her chessboard of life. I am only as good as I am useful in making her feel better about herself. I am just a trophy on a shelf for her to polish and, within it, admire herself. For 30 years, I have played into her hands and she has been my puppet master.

I guess the long and short of things here is that through this terrible tragedy, I have learned a great deal. I have learned that it's time to get back onto that green (or blue) sofa. My work in therapy is clearly not finished, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. At least there's a light. I have learned (yet again) that I'm really not as crazy as my parents (well, my entire family really) would like me to believe. I have learned that you can't just let go of things that require reparations. I have learned that it's not worth sacrificing oneself for a superficial relationship with a parent who is incapable of reciprocating authentic love.

So, all in all, I suppose getting smacked upside the head actually did do me a bit of good...

~~~If you suspect that one (or both) of your parents may be Narcissistic, I highly recommend reading~~~

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers 

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family