Thirsty Thursday...With a Side of Smack-a-Bitch

So it's Thursday. I pretty much despise Thursday anymore because Hubby works until 7. This means that from dawn until bath time, I am the Big Kahuna, The Head Honcho, or whatever the fuck you want to call me. I think the more appropriate name would be: CRAZY. However, today was an especially fun Thursday. Big Monster's preschool class had a special presentation for Mother's Day today, and so I went to her school for that before lunch. It was adorable...and the worst part (yes, that's what I said) was that I just started my period yesterday, so my hormones are fucking out of control. They started to sing this song about how they are growing bigger everyday, and I almost lost it! Ugh. Yes, I get it. My baby is growing up...We don't need to sing a damn song about it!!! Anyway, it was super sweet, even though she's a total Indian giver and took my paper flowers back from me...

After that, I went home to clean. Boo. I hate cleaning, but our house was at the point where it actually looked like we lost a family member or two...so it was time to stop sulking and clean up the mess. It actually felt good to fold clothes, vacuum and wipe off the kitchen counters. It was, well...cleansing!
After cleaning, it was time to pick up the Monster from preschool, and then we headed to the mall. Hubby has an important meeting on Saturday, and so we needed to pick out some snazzy clothes for him to wear since all he owns are work uniforms, ripped jeans and t-shirts. Monster picked out his shirt, and she didn't do a bad job at all! Of course they both behaved, but that was due to the fact that I had bribed them with both food and playtime. We had a quick bite at the food court, and then it was off to the mall play area... <insert horror movie soundtrack here>

What the hell is wrong with parents these days?! I mean, honestly, I feel like some parents see what looks to be a "corral" of sorts, and so they think it's fair game for a hen session, reading time, or who the fuck knows what exactly. All I know is that I was following both of my little monsters around, meanwhile trying to play bodyguard and referee for the parents who weren't doing their jobs. I put up with it long enough for them to get out a good amount of energy, and then when a little Hispanic girl yelled at me in Spanish that my monster needed to "get in line over there" for the slide, I had enough. She was literally standing there yelling at me to get my monster to stand in a line that wouldn't have even existed had she just gone her bossy ass down the damn thing in the first place. That mother is lucky it's illegal to smack a bitch...because I would have.

Instead, I bribed my monsters with a cookie, and they were happy to leave the prison yard...I mean play area. Ugh. I am just happy to be home with a glass of Sangria and a helpful Hubby now...and please, readers, don't ever let me catch one of you not paying attention to your kids at the damn mall. You never know when I might actually lose it and smack a bitch. It could be you. Just sayin'.

Here's to Thirsty Thursdays...