Domestic Goddess: Garage Sale Warrior

Some of you may know this about me, or maybe you have gathered it from some of my prior postings. However, for those of you who aren't aware, I am a bad bitch. In other words, you don't want to fuck with me. It's that simple. I will rock your socks as your friend, but cross me or anyone I love, and you won't soon forget it.

One of my very favorite weekend activities when the weather is cooperative (and sometimes when it's not) is to hit up the local garage sales. I call it garage saling. No, it's not spelled "sailing" because that doesn't make any fucking sense. I am not sailing; I am sale-ing, which grammatically works out to be saling. Anyhow, it's fun for me, and I have found some of the BEST things in my house at garage sales for ridiculously cheap prices. It's one of those things where either people have no idea what they have -OR- they just want to get it the fuck out of their house. I digress.

Our story begins on a Friday morning, yesterday to be exact. I thought I had scored a major deal on a Coach handbag for $20. It was this mint green color that I'd never seen. I thought $20 was a steal for it...It turns out it was more of a steal than I thought...Hubby could have slapped me upside the head when he got home and looked at it because even he could tell right away that it was a counterfeit bag. Doh! I resolved that I would take this illegal piece of merchandise back to the sale this morning and get my money back. I will not be throwing away $20, and I certainly want no part of the counterfeit bag market. I don't live in Chinatown, and I am scared shitless of consequences.

Before going to the sale in question, I hit up several other sales earlier in the morning since this ad specifically disclosed "NO EARLY BIRDS" with about 17 exclamation points. Clearly, these people value their sleep. Well, when 9:30 rolled around, I decided it was time to head in that direction. Upon arrival, there was the sweetest older lady who was keeping watch over things. The Faux-ch wasn't hers, but she assured me that her daughter would most certainly refund my money once she got back from putting up the signs. No problem. I waited patiently for her return.

When she got back, I showed her the bag and told her that it was counterfeit, and she acted slightly (although now I am pretty sure it was an act) surprised. "Hmmm," was her response when I pointed out the flaws in the bag.

Me: So, I'd like to get my money back.

Garage Sale Lady: Well, I'm not sure if I can give you your money back.

Me: What do you mean?

GSL: Well, I mean, I'm not a store.

Me: Okay? What does that have to do with anything?

GSL: Well, I don't have any of the money from yesterday here. I only have change for paying customers.

Me: STUNNED SILENCE

GSL's mom: I'll give her the money back.
GSL's mom then went inside. While I waited for her return, I spoke a little bit more with this crazy woman who refused to return my money.

Me: You do realize it's illegal to sell a counterfeit bag, right?

GSL: Well, I could see if I was representing the bag as a Coach, but I didn't know that it was a fake bag. And I bought it from another garage sale. I guess I should return it to that one and try to get my money back, right? I've learned over the years that when you buy something at a garage sale, you're taking a chance.

Me: Okay, well, you know NOW that it's fake, and you refuse to give me my money back. That makes it illegal. And it isn't my problem that you didn't take the bag back in the first place. I don't throw my money away, and I certainly don't purchase illegal merchandise.

GSL: Well, my mom's going to give you your money back.

Me: That's very kind of her

GSL: Yes it is.

Can you people believe this shit?! I was seriously ready to call the police. Sure, it's only $20, but come the fuck on already! If that happened to me, I would have been absolutely embarrassed and would have refunded the money without a second thought. I would have felt absolutely terrible. Hubby asked me yesterday if I was actually going to go back and try to get my money, and I told him of course! Hello, how could anyone deny me my money if I had the balls to actually come back in the first place?! Well, this lady was one tough (and crazy) nut to crack. Fortunately, her mother was very sweet. If she hadn't been, I would have called the authorities. I don't mess around when it comes to my money, and I won't take any shit from anybody.

Moral of the story: I have no clue how to spot a counterfeit bag. My husband does. And clearly, I am a warrior when it comes to garage saling.

Here's to Karma!