Monday, April 9, 2012

Well I'll Be A Polka Dotted Octopus...

So Happy Belated Easter, friends and fans! It was a SUPER fun weekend over here in our corner of the world. We've all been battling a cold like it's the Revolutionary War or something. It's insane. It just keeps going like the damn Energizer Bunny. Screw the Easter Bunny...The Energizer Bunny has it going on! At any rate, everyone in the house is sick. Literally, everyone. And you know Hubby is the worst and biggest baby of them all. Little Monster has a diaper rash that looks like it could eat a kangaroo or something. Big Monster has a cough that could blow the roof off the house...and then Saturday (the day of their birthday party, OF COURSE), I get out of the shower...look in the mirror...and HOLY EFFING CHRIST...I looked like someone had bedazzled my body...only not cute...like, horrible red blotchy bedazzlements. AWFUL. I kinda froze...And tried not to panic. I mean, it's not like I have anxiety or anything. It's not like I had just quit taking a new medication that I thought could have been causing Little Monster's kangaroo-eating diaper disease....OH WAIT. That's right...I DID just quit taking a new medication that I thought was eating at my daughter's girl parts. GAH!!!!

I shrugged it off, even after Mama Bear (my mom) told me she thought it was measles. Strangely enough, there was a recent outbreak not far from here...Aaaaand so we threw the girls' birthday party. <<Insert shameless plug for awesome photog friend, Sarah Neese of Lillybug Photography>>
Photo Credit: Lillybug Photography

Photo Credit: Lillybug Photography
 It was an absolute BLAST! They had tons of fun and ran off as much energy as was humanly possibly, I'm pretty sure. I wore enough clothing to cover my bedazzled body and wore my hair down and kind of in my face to hide it. GEEEZ. I guess it worked because no one really said anything or seemed to stare.

Fast forward to Sunday morning...Happy Easter! I came out to the living room, where Mama Bear was sleeping, and she sat up and looked at me: "Ummm? I think it's either worse or just not gotten any better overnight..." So I took a stroll back to my bathroom to check it out...O...M....F....G....THIS is what I saw:
Holy Easter eggs, Batman! I looked like a damn polka dotted octopus! I calmly called for my mom to come back to help me decide what to do...And my first thought was that I should go to the E.R.? We were all convinced that it was measles...like, everyone was. So I called the on-call number for my primary care doctor...And I received a callback from an RN who was way less than helpful. Obviously I was interrupting her holiday meal, and she told me to take a Claritin and call my doctor on Tuesday if the rash hadn't subsided. I asked her if I should be concerned that it could be measles or a rash caused by a new medication I had been taking (Lamictal)...she was more worried about her mimosa getting warm and the deviled eggs being gone by the time she got back, I think...She definitely told me I had nothing to worry about...and to take Benadryl if it got "really bad" between now and then.

Dr. McHottie called to check in with me this morning and told me the advice I received yesterday "was crap." That's right, folks. It was crap. He said that I needed to be seen in order to determine what was causing me to look like a polka dotted octopus. So, as much as I hate doctors, I relented. Okay, really, the only reason I consented was that he said he wouldn't put me back on the books until I found out why I was suddenly bedazzled. Mind you, I look a little less bedazzled today than I did yesterday...so I didn't feel too bad about going out of the house.

The PA I saw today told me that it's classic bedazzling due to a drug allergy. wah wah waaaaahhhhh. Boosauce. I really liked the damn drug. Too bad it ate my little monster's butt and bedazzled me, huh?

So anyway, I decided that it is time to switch to cloth diapering...on top of everything else going on at the moment. I mean, I guess I am just one of those people who feels like you can never have enough shit going on! I just felt like since we have tried every diaper concoction known to man, trying to get rid of the diaper rash, and nothing has worked....that it was time to stop slapping chemicals on my poor little monster's behind. So that should be interesting...you know, knowing absolutely nothing about cloth diapering...and deciding one day to just up and do it. I went with gDiapers. I like that I have the option to stick a disposable insert in there if I'm feeling lazy...It suits me.

So that's my weekend in a nutshell...or an eggshell. Whichever you prefer ;-) I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend!

Here's to new adventures!

1 comment:

  1. It's so much funnier here than when it was happening in real life! I'm just relieved that I was wrong... can't believe I said that... I must say, you wore the look well! No surprise to me, though, honestly!

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