Are Those [Mom] Jeans?!

So I was thinking...I had a discussion with one of my girlfriends today about fashion. Yes, I talk about fashion. I'm into a lot of things, and though I may not dress upper east side NYC, I might know a thing or two. Or maybe not, but who cares?! It's my blog, and I can write what I want.

So here's the deal. Once you become a mom, you have to start acting like one, or at least you should anyway. And really, that includes how one dresses. So, being that I am a somewhat young mom, I feel like there is some kind of disconnect between what people my age might wear...and what moms my age might wear. And for that matter...what moms not my age are wearing.

I feel like I should dress in a way that won't embarrass my children in any way. It doesn't even matter that one doesn't speak and the other can't enunciate. They both have feelings. And eyes, for that matter. I just remember my mom wearing the most embarrassing things when I was a kid and just wishing I could crawl in a hole and die every single time she wore the hot pink elastic belt (honestly, what is the point of this?!) with the gaudy flower printed poodle skirt. I can still picture this outfit, friends. It's that bad. I never want to do that to my girls. In fact, I'd rather they not remember anything I wore. That means I blended in with the other parents and looked normal...well, except for the inappropriately dressed parents. My girls can laugh at them and feel bad for their children.

 I went to a high school fundraiser a few months back, and I couldn't believe what some of these people were wearing. Let me first say that I agonized over what to wear to this shindig because I am a mom, and I wanted to dress appropriately. I wanted to look mom-like, not old, and not like a disco ball in heels or anything. Disco ball in heels was my 25th birthday party, not high school athletics fundraiser. So, I spent a good 2 hours in Target trying to find just the right thing. I eventually settled on a top that was figure-flattering, no cleavage, not too tight, with a long tank underneath and black leggings. I went with flats for shoes because I thought heels would be over the top. This looked great! Promise. Anyway, I am positive that there had to be some kids that were thanking their lucky stars that they weren't going to this event with their parents...I swear, one lady was wearing a bedazzled turquoise lycra/spandex single-shoulder tank top, a white mini skirt and heels. Another lady was the disco ball, in a completely sequined tank dress and 6 inch wedge sandals (maybe she was channeling Lady Gaga?)...

They were everywhere: mid-life crises that is. I had to shrug off the men in the Hawaiian shirts because the theme of the night was a beach party (I was unaware of this until I arrived). The point is that I would have placed some of these people at a club downtown (not even downtown INDY, more like LA or something), rather than a high school fundraiser. It was just weird.

And my husband asked me the other day if the jeans that come in even sizes, rather than odd sizes are the "mom jeans." The subject came up as we were discussing my girls' night over the weekend. I told him that the jeans were sized in odd sizes (juniors), which don't fit those of us ladies who have had kids. So, I said that I didn't want to get them because they didn't fit me quite right. And he said, "Oh, so you have to buy those 'mom jeans' now?" He sounded completely let down and disappointed, like I just told a little kid we weren't getting a puppy for Christmas because Santa is broke or something. I just about died. It was hilarious. So I asked him what he meant...and he explained that mom jeans are the ones that come up past your belly button and make your butt look flat.

I about peed myself. I told him that I already have some jeans that I would consider mom jeans but aren't exactly his version of them. They just fit me better because they're misses (even sizes) instead of juniors. Yes, they come up a little higher. Why? Because us moms are constantly bending over to pick shit up that our kids drop or to pick our kids up. If I wore low rise jeans now, my ass would be permanently hanging out of them. No, my mom jeans don't make my butt look flat. In fact, they make it look damn good! But see, we're getting back to the point of this matter, which is that moms really need to think before they dress themselves in the morning (or afternoon, whenever we end up getting dressed). We need to make sure we aren't embarrassing our children or ourselves.

Til next time...