Choked Up @ The Pediatrician's Office...

So I cried at the new pediatrician's office, big deal! Blame it on the hormones. All I know is that I won't have to dread the next check-up, and I have a place to call if my kid sticks a cheeto up her nose. They were tears of relief, more than anything.

It's a battle I shouldn't have had to fight in the first place. We decided to switch pediatricians due to conflict of interest. Our old ped firmly believed in vaccines and no processed foods. She also believed in no t.v. time until after 2, separating dogs from kids at all times, no co-sleeping, and I'm pretty sure no "anything fun."

Why did I choose her in the first place?? I don't even know anymore. I was blinded by visions of being the "perfect mom," I suppose. You know, the mom who breastfeeds for 2 years, only prepares raw, organic foods, never turns on the television, plays Mozart all day, while cleaning and reading to the baby. Huh, it's amazing what a nice big dose of reality will do!

Well, I guess it's really the vaccines that hit closest to home. I am a firm believer in the philosophy of what works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for another. As a parent, I respect each individual's right to choose what is best for her family. I don't expect everyone to make the same choices that I make. I just hope that they're educated and informed before making whatever decision they make.

See, I could live with lying about where and how my daughter sleeps at night. "Now, she sleeps in her own crib/bassinet on her back with no blankets or other objects, correct?" Sure, Doc. Absolutely. Meanwhile, my daughter actually slept with US for the first 3 months because she wouldn't sleep anywhere else. And if she DID sleep anywhere else, she definitely wasn't on her back..."Okay, and we're making sure to give her the vitamin every day, right?" Oh yeah, every day, same time...Yeah, RIGHT. I'm lucky I remember to EAT everyday, 3 times a day, but surely I can remember the vitamins. "Okay, very good. And we're not feeding her any processed foods, correct? No 'puffs' or Cheerios or Goldfish crackers, nothing that's empty calories." Exactly. Absolutely, only the very best for my little one. Note to self: next time leave the 'puffs' in the car, under the seat, just in case someone from the office staff looks in my car..."Okay, and just a reminder that juice is not a necessary part of her diet. It provides no nutritional value and is just a sugar overload. So we haven't given her any juice, correct?" Oh, no, absolutely not. No juice. She wouldn't know what it was if it stared her in the face...Meanwhile, back home, since we had to switch to formula due to my complete failure as a woman (milk dried up @ 6 months post-partum), we include pomegranate juice as a regular part of her diet so that the formula doesn't stop her up..."Finally, I want to make sure that you understand that watching television is damaging for children under the age of 2. So she isn't watching any Sponge Bob, right?" OH, NO, no Sponge Bob...It's Tinkerbell, lady. Get it right.

So after MONTHS of letting this incessant questioning go on, I finally opened up to a friend of mine about it. I told her how every single time I took my daughter for a check-up, I felt like a worse parent. Each time I had "failed" in one area or another, or more. And then when you throw in the whole vaccination thing on top of it, I was just exhausted. I told her it took me a week to recover from my daughter's check-ups. She laughed sweetly and said, "your doctor sounds insane to me."

I guess I just never thought about it. I mean, maybe not everyone leaves their child's pediatric office feeling like a complete failure. And WHY should I feel like a failure? My daughter is growing, and she's hitting all of her milestones. What's the harm in a few empty calories? And why can't *I* decide whether or not vaccinating is the right choice for my family? All I know is, after meeting with the new doctor today, I cried. I honestly can't say if it was pregnancy hormones or just the fact that someone finally respected ME. She actually gets that just because I don't have my MD doesn't mean I'm uneducated and unable to make good choices. So, cheers! Here's to a new pediatrician to whom I don't have to lie!

Til next time...